Changes...

It has been a very busy weeks for me recently, busy with works, attending my cousin's wedding at singapore, hanging out with new friends, catching up with old friends etc...  but i just got to realize.. when i finally got myself quietly sitting here, i realize i'm actually feeling down! But why? because I realize how so many things have changed in my life, around my surroundings, among my friends. It's kind of hard to imagine how our thinking are changing along the time. When we're a kid, we want sweets, when we're in school, we want friends, when we're in college, we want to club, when we're working, we want money. And finally when we're tired, we want LOVE, but not any love, a love with so much conditions that drive most of us crazy, empty, fear,  and everything. I wonder how many do really sit down and think and be grateful with all one has at the moment, than to feel envy looking at those who are happily married, earning successfully? We envy others, but never realize that we too, has qualities that others envy, no? So why should we doubt ourselves? Why should we look down on ourselves and look high on others? If you do believe in fate, then you shall believe in the right timing and that, the universe shall has its own way to bring its greatest gift to you. You just need to wait! with Smilez of course. ^-^

Solitude by Rene Asmussen

2009 -> 2010

Happy new year! Well, a brand new year with brand new starts.. believe it or not, I really could feel the shift of energy upon stepping into the year of 2010...   2009, I asked myself, what have i done? what have achieve? is there any regrets? My answers were so much yet so less. I've done so many, opening up a cafe with friends, moving house, break-ups, gathering with old friends etc yet i felt i have done so little.. I wish i could do it better, clean my house, more catch-ups with friends, work harder etc... But if I would have to make a conclusion for the year 2009, is about Growth. I might seem to be a mature-thinker for my age, but the year 2009 makes me feel I'm still such a kid compare to many. There's so much more in life, in business, in friends, in family etc that I have yet to learn and grow. I realize the horizons are bigger for me to explore compare the years ago.. I wish i could visit more places, read more books, gain more knowledge and meet more people in this brand new year. I would love to grow!

"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise" --- Alden Nowlan

Very true!! I forgave and thanks all who have directly or indirectly comes into my life.. ^-^

Symmetry Green Datura Bud CloseUp Photo by Ferenc Ecseki

Being truthful...

Everyday in our lives, things happened. Some bad and some good. But I tend to believe, everything happen for a good reason. Nothing is ever bad, nothing comes just to bring u bad. It just want us to learn something from it but how many of us really learn through our lessons? We know, all the decisions are actually in our hand, even the decisions to be happy or not. We always say, whatever you decide, you must follow your heart, be true to ourselves but how many can differentiate between your true self feelings and your human ego mind? So little to understand and yet so much to learn, huh? But i always consider myself lucky for i have angels (seen and unseen) around me to remind me to stay firm and be truthful.
Always ask yourself, what do you want now? What you really want now? And don't think! The first answer counts and nothing else! Do not analyze. You just need to answer on first instinct and keep up to do it. Do not be afraid of the consequences or toughness it brings for it will fall in pieces for you once you've taken the first step.

"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true." -- Nathaniel Hawthorne from the Scarlet Letter

"To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's." -- Fyodor Dostoevksy from Crime and Punishment

"All a man can betray is his conscience." -- Joseph Conrad from Under Western Eyes

So.. how many dare to be different to follow your own true heart?

 

Picture info - Trueself from www.true-self.org/

Quite an interesting website..

 

Right and righteous

Sometimes, what is right to most of the people doesn't seem to be the right for you. Those who fit perfectly to other people's lives doesn't seem to fit yours. But yet, we always choose to follow the path where majority thinks it's right without thinking if it's righteous for us. Thus, we follow and we regret, we blamed others.

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt (Former First Lady)

I personally thinks that Roosevelt got the point here. It is your heart that truly determines what's right for you and you just have to admit sometimes what's right for your heart and you, seems to be the wrongest thing to do. But if you don't act with your heart, in the end, you'll find yourself LOST, not knowing what's right and wrong anymore. Which is worst? I pick to follow my heart. Admitting that you're a bad or lame person, is really not that hard if you enjoy what you have...after all, who leads your life other than yourself? Don't let others influence you, it shall always be you and yourself.

Picture info : Soft Pink Smoke by Pink Sherbet.. 
I don't smoke, but this is an interesting composition, especially the pink lips and female.. Something worth pondering..

Twin Flame

O' Twin Flames,
If so are called to address the brightest light between human,
Then so are the truth of those seekers,
Who have spent endless time in search,
For all believe IT is the cure of all evil, and the fruits of the heaven above.

But O' Dearest,
Have you not remember the true core of all lives?
Whom all serves beyond the endless time,
In which you named higher than the universe,
Where the divine space you first chose your twins on earth?

So O' the Chosen One,
Why do I see tears in your eyes which my reflection marks?
Have u been regretting your choice?
Or have clouds clouded your faith?
But both either none;
shall you grant yourself the courage to stand along me,
The Promise of the Heaven Earth shall remains till the earth dies.

And for all the memories of lives,
Are all recalls of the moment the contract signs.

Love.

如果你不够了解我，何必说了解？ 还是真的是我不够了解自己？

说真的，世界上到底有多少人真正了解自己？ 是自己不让别人了解，没有说清自己的感觉呢？还是大家都只从自己的观点去看别人？我虽然我自己一直都认为做错了就要认，而我也是属于勇敢认错的人（至少我真的这样觉得。。><) 只是我也会说明我为什么会生气啊，说话不好啊。。还是什么的，但我真的会认，也会说对不起，只是也希望把自己的想法也说出来而已。。。

结果却被人认为我只是在找借口，完全没有认错。。这去话真的深深刺痛了我的心。。或许别人的想法和看法不一样，但我是真的用真心去对待的，也真的诚心认错，只是也会表明自己的想法而已。。难道真的有错吗？

我承认，我这个人真的很在意别人对我的看法，所以当被人这么说时，真的快令我哭出来了。。因为我真的很痛，用真心对人却换来这样对我的误会。。。所以我现在也在忍着不哭，因为如果我对朋友说，我一定会马上就哭得。。。

我做错了吗？

Poem - On the horizon

I could have use the most melodious voice,
Showing the most heartbreaking face of beauty,
Biting hard on every words I speak to you,
But I did not, for that would have easily sway your thoughts,
Bringing you nothing but the pang on heart which I am so familiar of.

My Precious One,
I might not be the most inteligent on earth,
For I am just as selfish, as cruel, as notorious as the rest,
But I saw your angel standing beside, my fairies singing on my ears,
Speaking only the important truth that you must know.

In this Universe, we have came for a purpose,
So sincere, so luminious, that easily caught the eye of the dark,
Bringing us confusion, urge, selfish, and so much many more,
But if, there's a second for us to ponder, for each and every,
We shall know, there is ONLY ONE PATH which leads to the REAL DESTINY,

And for that, we are like the smallest ant, keep dying and reviving,
Falling and learning, till we ever, ever, with our very own power and will,
To admit and receive nothing but the best in us.
Till then, my precious one, With my angels and faeries,
I shall be standing beside you.